Swatantrata divas

Khoob leheraye jhanda apna, 

Hum sabke arman liye, 

Dikhe usme har ek ka sapna, 

Saikadon ki aastha jiye. 

Rakhe sir hamara ooncha, 

Jhuke na kisi avastha mein, 

Gaurav prateek, khoon se seencha, 

Anginat desh vaasiyon ne. 

Dahaad mein uske Omkar hai, 

Desh navjaat ki hahakaar, 

Vishwa bhar mein fail chuki hai, 

Maha Bharat ki garima paar. 

Sadhu-sant ki vani isme, 

Gurbani ke madhur vichar, 

Isaai aur Islami jisme, 

Gita ka hai param saar. 

Tirange mein har rang jhalakta, 

Har sugandh ki hai aabhaas, 

Karodon ka hai dil dhadakta, 

Anek sabhyata  ek vishwas. 

Phone pe charcha

DISCLAIMER: This is PURE FICTION and any resemblance to anyone dead or alive is pure coincidence. 

Young Leader was upset. His Long March was not going as per plan. There were too many distractions. First two party leaders had fought with each other over who would be the CM candidate. That too in a state they were not hopeful of winning! Then a simple election had become a headache and hogged the limelight for all the wrong reasons. And taken away the spotlight from him! The Man with Big Words had thrown his hat into the ring and complicated matters. It was absolutely unnecessary. For a free and fair election, he claimed. When had the party election been free and fair? The First Choice Loyal Courtier had revolted. Now the second choice was Man of Few Words. He would win, definitely. But all this had taken the focus away from Young Leader and his Long March. How was he going to become the centre of attention again? How could he salvage his Nth relaunch? He was worried, very worried. 

As he walked his daily miles, he hit upon a plan. It is a wonderful plan, he thought. A brilliant one in fact. And all that was required was a phone call to the PM! 

Young Leader picked up the phone and dialled. As soon as he heard the phone being picked up, he said, "Mr. Prime Minister sir, this is Young Leader here. Pls don't say a word. I called to give you a piece of my mind. Pls don't interrupt me for any reason". So saying, Young Leader launched into his well thought-out tirade. " Sir," He said, "You are taking the country to the brink. You are dividing it along religious lines. We had one partition because of religious division. But I will not let you achieve your agenda. I hope to integrate the country and achieve what Nehruji and Gandhiji could not do. Jinnah might have succeeded then, but he will not now. Your nefarious designs will not succeed. I will march into the capital with my partymen and you cannot stop me - your your party cannot, your terrorists cannot stop me, your police cannot. Why, even your army cannot stop me. I will cross every border on my way. Remember my party man, BIG Mouth? I lost an election because of him. Now I will have him join your party. You will see the consequences. He will hug Bajwa. Bajwa has a soft corner for him, you know. You will never win an election in Punjab." Then he put the phone down, smiled and winked at his aide. It was a job well done. Mama would be proud! 

A few minutes after he put the phone down, the phone rang in the PM's office. As the PM picked up the phone, the voice at the other end said, " PM saab, Salaam alaikkum". "Walaikkum-as-Salaam", responded the PM. " Sir, you can take Kashmir, I will stop the terrorists from attacking you and hand over the 26/11 culprits. But pls don't do this to me! Ek taraf Khan saab ki harkatein. Aur doosri taraf yeh? " He was very agitated and his voice was shaking. "Sharif saab, khairiyat to hai? Aap bahut tension mein lag rahein hain. Kya baat hai? " "Wah PM saab. Aap bhi mazaak khub kar lete hain. Abhi abhi Young Leader ka phone aaya tha! "

Back at the march site, Mama picked up Young Leader's phone. She froze. "Arre yeh kya? Yek to Shahbaaz Sharif ka phone number hai!! Kise phone kiya isne? Hai Ram!! "

A sense of time

Time and tide wait for no man. So goes the ancient saying. Our forefathers realised long, long ago that the flow of time could not be stopped and that time would flow at its own rate. Man has had an understanding of time from the beginning of civilisation. It is well accepted that time flows in one direction only.
Albert Einstein enhanced our understanding of the nature of time by his theory of relativity. He showed us that time was relative. Two events that occur simultaneously for one observer need not be simultaneous for another. Time can dilate depending on the relative velocity. So, an event that occurs over one second for one observer may occur over 10 seconds for another. All this is well understood by at least a few!
Let us now come to a more mundane issue : how the awareness of time impacts our life and who all have this awareness.
Man, we know, understands time. A few, like Einstein, have a very deep understanding indeed. While we wear fancy watches and look at the clock every now and then, time has a more fundamental influence on us than we care to realise. Our very existence is based on time.
Let me explain.
It is generally accepted that a living creature procreates to perpetuate itself. That is, since any living creature will die after a finite period of time, it gives birth to young ones to ensure its survival as a species. So, the species survives, in generation after succeeding generation. This means that there is an understanding of time, an understanding that one will not live forever. Now this might be controversial. While all, or most people, would probably agree that man has a good understanding of time and the fact that he will not live forever, the same may not be the case with lower creatures. What understanding does a buffalo have? What about a cat, a mouse, a bird or even a mosquito? Is it conceivable that these "lowly" creatures understand the nature of time? It is probably safe to assume that these creatures do not have an understanding of time in the same manner that we do: that is to say that while we are conscious about our knowledge of time, these creatures are not.
But birds and animals are bound by time. They wake up a specific times, go looking for food, rest, sleep and even hibernate in  a time-bound manner. But these are based on various cues like the sun's position over the day, seasonal changes etc. Not on an explicit understanding of time. But the fact that they produce young ones means they have an innate understanding of time. The very need to multiply stems from an in-born and instinctive drive to prevent extinction of their species.
Single-celled organisms like bacteria also display similar perpetuation. They multiply when the conditions are right. When the conditions are hostile or not conducive, they just wait in a more inactive state. Since bacteria have a finite lifetime, it is logical to assume that they multiply to stay alive as a species.
This is true for plants as well. They have various mechanisms for ensuring the continuity of their species. Plants vary in size from huge, towering trees to tiny miniscule entities. But they all have one common trait - reproduction.
The same goes for viruses. Viruses are regarded as non living. They cannot multiply on their own but need a host cell to do so. They multiply under the right conditions. They "die" when the conditions are not right. So what is the need for a "non living" virus to multiply? If it is for perpetuating its existence, if it is programmed to continue its line, then is it truly non living? Perhaps the classification needs a second or third or n th look.
Contrast this with a lifeless object like a stone. It has no sense of time. It does not multiply. It does nothing to create replicas of itself. The same goes for any non living thing like a table, a ring, a shoe, a pen etc. They have just no "understanding" of time.
So what does all this tell us? That the comprehension of time is very ancient. It is as old as life itself and all living things have an innate awareness of the flow of time, an awareness that propels them to multiply, a sense that drives them to overcome their mortality by producing the next generation. Perhaps life itself evolved only after this understanding was achieved. Perhaps. 

Prof. TSKV Iyer - a tribute

Prof. TSKV Iyer, former Deputy Director of BITS, Pilani, passed away in Pune on 18th evening at the age of 96.

Prof. Iyer was a very respected man. He was the last word in Circuit Theory and his book was considered the Bible. (I recently referred to the online version of his book to help my daughter!) Senior students would advise, "Attend Iyer if you want to make an A grade". He would take his classes in one of those big classrooms which would be overflowing. Almost all the students in the batch would be crammed in! He would go about his job unconcerned. The flow was admirable, as was his grasp over the subject. One felt he could actually "look" into those circuits he drew. And he would take his students for a walk into those lanes and bylanes of resistors, capacitors and inductors and explain every detail as a tour guide does. His class was a different experience. Important points were emphasised time and again in short sentences. "A capacitor is an open circuit for DC and a short circuit for AC in the steady state", still rings in my mind. KCL and KVL are two other terms one cannot forget. He repeated them so often that I remember them to this day, without ever having used them in the last 30 years or so ! Nor his, "Current cannot accumulate at a node". Not once would he lose his temper or take a student to task for asking a silly question.
He was affectionately referred to by the students as TSKVSK Iyer after his long initials. Almost all instructors in BITS were given a nickname. He was not exempted. But he was revered for his knowledge, expertise  and very down to earth attitude. There were lesser men who put on airs and threw tantrums in class. But not TSKV Iyer. He was serenity and dignity personified.
He would address the freshers and their parents during the orientation. The year I joined, a parent queried if birdwatching was allowed on the campus (there were many birds on the campus, including peacocks which would approach very close). "Birdwatching is allowed", Iyer said, then paused, looked at the audience and continued, "as long as you don't watch the wrong kind of birds!" The auditorium burst into laughter. He had his humorous side too.

I remember only a fraction of what happened in that one semester; time takes its toll on the memory.
May his soul rest in peace.

Celebrities - a news factory

It is the silly season. And it has been triggered by the novel corona virus. How is it that a virus is responsible for it?
The lockdown announced by the government has forced us all indoors and made us stay indoors, with external movement limited to essentials only. Working from home is not any less stressful or easier than going to the office. And one has to manage all the the "homely" interruptions from time to time. I do not find any free time. I was working harder than ever I thought, what with the maid absent and my having to back up for her! Everyone would have lots of work at home. Or so I thought.

How wrong I was! Celebrities seem to be very unemployed. I guess it might be true as most of their work is done outdoors. All the indoor work is managed by their staff. So, with all the time on their hands, our celebraties have taken it upon themselves to educate us. On everything under the sun. There is no aspect of life that is left out. They are the new Vedas.
One actress showed us how to wash vessels. My wife and my maid wash vessels everyday. I do it quite often now that the maid does not come. I never thought much about it. But watching the actress' video I realised how a mundane task becomes glorified in the hands of a celebrity. And there is so much science behind the act ! I would not learn so much if my science teacher taught me. The visual is accompanied by a commentary lest one does not understand. The actress will ensure the online training is successful!
Another tried baking. Yet another demonstrated sweeping with a broom. I was impressed. How often does one get to learn to sweep from a star? And then there are the workouts. India is dying to know how our stars are keeping fit when gyms are locked. So we have the full benefit of a workout regime on the roof. Ya, Indians can have their breakfast now; the stars are maintaining their washboard abs.
Then one must not forget the "goals" the celebrities set for us Indians. These are goals we Indians are expected to aim for. One gets to see photos of well known faces enjoying the sun, the beach, the pool, you name it. So you get various goals - vacation goals, beachwear goals, pool goals, PDA goals. The list is endless. There is no time or space left for your own goals! Just follow the celebrities.
And one must not forget those "throwback pics". These are old photos of our stars with someone or all by themselves. These throwback pics can be decades old or less. They are supposed to make us nostalgic. And long for more. After all, how can India live without the news of its stars? Whether we have our dinner or not, we must feast on what is happening to the stars.
Add to this the sun-kissed photos, photos without makeup, bonding photos.... The list is endless.
So what does one make of all this? My take is that these celebs need to be in the news. Perhaps their market value depends on how popular they are, how many followers they have on Twitter, Facebook etc. So they have this compulsion to  keep their visibility high, at all costs. So what do you do when you have nothing to do? Well, anything that you can take a photo or video of and post for the world to see. And make news.
As Nirupa Roy would so often say in her movies, "Paapi pet ka sawaal hai". Translated literally it means, "It is a question of the sinful stomach". Or in other words, "I have to do all this to fill my stomach!"

Book of poems published on Amazon

https://www.amazon.in/Verses-India-Jaikumar-S-ebook/dp/B0841B3N2M/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=verses+from+india&qid=1586046733&sprefix=verses&sr=8-1

I have published a collection of my poems in English on Amazon. Please visit the site mentioned above for details. 

Corona ki kasam

The corona pandemic and the resultant crisis play out, many a Bollywood director will be seeing a great opportunity for a Bollywood  blockbuster. So why should I miss the chance to become famous, a la Chetan Bhagat (remember 3 Idiots) ?
Here is  sure-shot chartbuster story and screenplay.

The movie opens with the main villain (v1) in hospital with tubes running from all parts of his body, an ECG monitor going kuk kuk kuk, the graph just about showing signs of life and all kinds of fluids being injected into him. Even the most naive will know he is close to death. A doctor with a mask, gloves and a coat is intently watching the monitor. Just then the nurse brings in the blood report. The doctor reads the report and shakes his head. " Doctor saab, kya likha hai?", asks the villain's brother. "Inhe corona ho gaya hai! ", says the doctor gravely with fear in his eyes. He explains that v1 has a peculiar form of corona. It will kill him in 4 hours. So, to stay alive, he must keep taking glucose intravenously. "Corona ko har 4 ghante glucose khilana hoga, varna yeh tumhare bhai ko kha jayega". There is only one cure available. That is an aam papad (mango jelly) prepared by a Chinese physician of which only one piece remains. This piece lies in a vault in villain2's house which is guarded by 20 big dumb chaps with sticks and guns. v1 must eat this jelly to get cured.

The next scene opens with our hero. He is a poor chap, with only a mother and a sister. He sells aam papad for a living. "Lele..., aam papad lele.. ", he sings as he pushes his cart through the streets. The heroine works in a  hosiery shop and buys aam papad from him every day. Note: What she does with aam papad every day is none of your business. But now we have common thread between the hero, heroine and the villain - aam papad.

Scene 3 is v1's lair. He has recovered now but still needs the glucose shots every 4 hours. "Maut mere sir par har 4 ghante mandarati hai. Yeh glucose ki botal meri zindagi hai", says v1 flashing the glucose bottle. " Mujhe woh aam papad chahiye jo v2 ne apne bolt me rakha hai", he continues. Note: He pronounces vault as bolt but that is his uniqueness. Now we have introduced the villain's motive and desperation.

Why is v1 a villain? Because he passes on the corona virus to his victims by spitting on his hands and shaking hands with them. His victims die in 4 hours. "4 ghante, sirf 4 ghante mein tum upar chale jaoge", he tells them. Of course, they don't know of the glucose treatment.

Scene 4 is a flashback going back 25 years. v1 and v2 are friends aged about 10. v1's father has the aam papad and shows it to v2's father. He tells him that a Chinese doctor gave it to him with the prophesy that it would save the world one day. v2's father kills him and runs off with the aam papad. As v1 tries to stop him, v2 punches him in the face and escapes with his father. Now you know why v1 hates v2. "Usne mere muh pe mukka mara aur aam papad chura liya."

Now a twist in the plot. The heroine is v2's daughter who has left home as she does not like his bad ways.

One more twist. Our hero is actually a police officer in disguise. He is on a mission to get the aam papad as the government wants it to save the nation from the impending crisis. The Health Minister has told him, "Sirf woh aam papad hi ab desh ko bacha sakta hai." Now you may be wondering why the government cannot just send the police to get the aam papad from v2. Well, they cannot because he lives in Malaysia. Our hero must send him a message through one of his local goons that he has one more such aam papad. Then v2 will come down to India with his aam papad for verification. The police can then catch him. Get the logic now?

Of course, there are many songs with stupid lyrics and even more stupid music. The hero runs around trees and the heroine, aam papad in hand.

One more twist. v1 kidnaps the hero's mother and sister and asks him to steal the aam papad from v2.

And if you are wondering what relation the title has to the plot, our hero takes a vow, "Corona ki kasam, mai us v1 ko maarkar apni maa aur behan ko bacha lunga."

In the climax, the hero steals the aam papad from v2 and hides it in his aam papad cart. v1 is there to receive it. Our hero gives v1 an aam papad from his cart. v1  thinks it is the real aam papad and stops taking glucose. He dies. But not before killing v2.

Ending 1:

As the clock ticks away, our hero runs with the aam papad to the health ministry where he dissolves it in the water supply and saves the nation. The health minister claps.

Ending 2:

Ending 1 seems a bit tame for a Bollywood movie. So I thought of this new climax.

After getting the aam papad (in Hyderabad) our hero needs to travel to Cochin. Why Cochin? Because the whole country is in danger of being affected by the corona virus and the only way to save the WHOLE country is to get to Cochin. How Cochin holds the key is part of the suspense!
Our hero's immediate task is to get to Delhi from Hyderabad. So he drives a car at breakneck speed. V1's henchmen chase him and throw bombs at his car. He catches a couple of the bombs and throws them back. Most of the bad guys are killed (in slow motion, as the bombs explode and their cars are hurled 50 feet into the air and slowly rotate as they fall down). But one of the bombs thrown by one of v1's henchmen explodes near our hero's car (in Nagpur - as one can make out from the "Nagpur Railway Station" board). The car is badly damaged and our hero is thrown out, injured but safe. He limps, to show he is injured. Now how does he get to Delhi? Read on...
A motorcyclist is conveniently urinating by the roadside, his bike parked nearby with the key. Our hero takes the bike. (This is how every hero in a Bollywood movie gets a bike. If it is the villain, he will knock down the rider and take the bike. There is no other method allowed.) Now our hero speeds towards Delhi on the bike, followed by two of v1's closest associates. Cross country, over the hills, across lakes and through towns and villages. The audience gets a Bharat darshan. Of course, there are many people who rush to safety every now and then, carts get overturned and a child stands helplessly in the way. Always one child only, crying. Our hero scoops up the child with one hand, carries him away to safety, slows down and hands him over to his distraught mother who blesses him. Armed with the mother's blessing, he continues.
One of the chasers shoots the tyre of the bike and our hero falls and rolls. This happens near Agra. The camera shows a glimpse of the Taj and a "Agra Nagarpalika aapka swagat karti hai" board. A horse cart, loaded with vegetables, is waiting for him, the farmer owner turned the other way and calling someone. Our hero takes off. He throws the vegetables one by one at the two villains. One falls down. The last fellow continues to give chase. The hero's cart hits a stone on the road and breaks. He jumps onto the horse. Now he makes full use of the 1HP vehicle. The harder he pulls on the stirrups, the faster the horse goes. As he reaches the Delhi airforce base, the poor horse collapses with a loud neigh. His feet are worn down to his knees. Our hero gets off the horse, caresses it, closes its eyes (yes, this is a must) and gives it a kiss. All this while the last villain is waiting patiently. He can attack only when the hero is ready and has his attention turned to him. But the death of the horse, enrages our hero. With a loud roar, he runs towards the villain and kicks him. The villain goes flying back to Hyderabad and his body lands next to v1's.
Now we reveal why the hero had to reach Delhi from Hyderabad to get to Cochin. Because the Prime minister and the Home minister are waiting for him there. He needs their blessings. The Air Force chief hands him a Rafale (yes, we have it by then and even if we do not have it, it doesn't matter. It is the hero's privilege).
Our hero now flies the Rafale jet to Cochin. He is chased by v2's brother in a helicopter who shoots at him with a pistol. After dodging the bullets all the way to Cochin, our hero fires a missile at the helicopter, thus finishing off all the villains. By now you must be dying to know why Cochin? Because the aam papad grains must be distributed all over India. The only way to do this is by mixing them with the clouds over Cochin and the south-west monsoon will carry them to all parts of the country (remember your school science?) But how does one convert an aam papad into grains? Simple. Our hero opens the cockpit and throws the aam papad up in the air. The he dives, does a loop-the-loop and fires a missile at the teeny-weeny bit of aam papad from a distance of 2 km. The explosion shatters the aam papad into micro bits and the clouds carry them away.

The next scene shows heavy rains in different parts of the country and the grateful citizens standing in the rain, wet and thanking the hero.

The last and closing scene shows our hero landing in Cochin and the heroine running into his arms. How she came to be in Cochin is none of your business and is worth another 3-hour movie.

Note: The hero can be named Raju, Vijay or Rahul. It should be a short name. Short enough for the villain to call out before dying - "Vijay... ". Can you imagine him saying "Krishna Prasada   Venkatesa Gowriputra Ramachandra Chella Gowda?"

Do you think all this is bull....? Well, just click the links given below and read the news items.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.theweek.in/news/entertainment/2020/03/17/corona-pyaar-hai-bollywood-producers-rush-to-register-coronavirus-titles.amp.html

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.indiatvnews.com/amp/entertainment/news/corona-pyaar-hai-to-deadly-corona-filmmakers-rush-to-register-corona-in-their-movie-titles-598577


Note: I own the full rights to this story and screenplay.

Crime and criminals - deterrence is the best policy

Watching Abu Salem on TV a few weeks ago, I  was struck by how fit and smart he looked. Clad in a T-shirt and jeans, he walked briskly surrounded by policemen. Had I not known about his case, I would have mistaken him for a cinema star. He was making an appearance in court in the Mumbai bomb blasts case. He looked well-fed and well looked after. He has been in prison since 2007 when he was extradited from Portugal. He cannot be hanged as the Indian government has given Portugal an undertaking to that effect. He may even be let out after some years.
The criminal justice system in India is very weak. Not that we lack strong laws, just that enforcement is poor. Many a times the police botches up the case or vested interests and corruption intervene to let the guilty off the hook. This, if the criminal is caught and charged. Even if the case does go to court, the criminal, if rich, can always hire a high profile lawyer to fight his case. So criminals carry on their trade with impunity and often with blessings of powerful people.
So how does one rectify this situation ? How does one ensure the guilty are brought to book ? How does one provide justice to the common man ?
We first need to understand and accept certain facts.
a. In a highly populous country like India where criminals number in hundreds of  thousands, it is impossible to catch every one of them. Neither we have the resources nor will it be physically possible. I am not advocating that we should not try to catch them all, just pointing out the futility of the exercise.
b. The courts already have a backlog of decades of cases. They just cannot handle more criminal cases. While we should find ways and means to speed up cases, we need to accept that we must look for ways to reduce litigation.
c. Man, by nature, tends to break rules. It is only the fear of punishment that makes us obey laws. We go through red lights if there is no traffic policeman. We even go in the wrong direction in a one-way street. These are small infractions committed by "law abiding citizens". Then what about hardened criminals ? What would they fear ? And why ?

So we have ended up in a lose-lose situation. If we catch more criminals, the system cannot handle the load. If we don't, we end up with more crime.

So what do we do ?

Crime has economics associated with it.  A person commits a crime because his gain is much more than when being law-abiding. Also he experiences a sense of power.

To attack crime and criminals, we should address these two factors. One, we should make crime economically unviable. Secondly, the power should be taken away. How do we go about doing this ?

First, the punishment for the same crime should be different for different persons. Say, a common citizen commits a crime for which the punishment is 5 years or X. If the same crime is committed by a policeman, the punishment should be 2X or two times i.e. 10 years. A judge or an MP or MLA should get 15 years or 3X punishment. A hardened criminal who already has convictions should also get 15 years punishment. This scaling of punishment will deter potential and hardened criminals. It is common to see people in positions of power commit crimes. As punishment increases with position, the incentive to misuse position for profit will reduce.
What about instances where people in official positions connive with perpetrators of crime to help the criminals escape by misusing their position ? For example, a police officer could destroy crucial evidence to destroy a case. A judge could write a favourable judgement for a consideration. Or a government officer could help generate false documents. In such cases, the punishment should be 5X, i.e., 5 times. It is far bigger a crime to misuse one's official position to abet a crime than to commit the crime itself.
The logic is that those with positions of power in the government should have higher levels of compliance to laws. Then crime will not pay.
Once convicted, the person should be made to serve the full sentence without remission or parole. Also multiple sentences should run in sequence, as in the Ram Rahim case, and not concurrently.
I know there are many who believe criminals can reform and become law-abiding citizens. It will be instructive to know how many criminals have turned over a new leaf in the last 70 years and what the percentage is. I believe the concept of reform should not apply to hardened or professional criminals. They should be dealt with sternly.The idea is to make a severe example of the few we manage to catch.
Deterrence is the best and most effective policy.

Pakistan - the idiotic neighbourhood terror bhai

It has become a rather routine affair now. A few terrorists sneak into Kashmir from Pakistan aided by their army and terrorist groups. They then kill civilians, army and police personnel, loot money and burn schools and buildings. Most of them die in the ensuing security operations though some manage to escape. Pakistan never acknowledges it sponsored the terrorists and that they are its citizens. Then there is lull for a few weeks before the whole sequence repeats.
Anyone who has been following the news will know what I mean. There is a sickening regularity to it. Pakistan continues to behave like a petulant child that will not listen to anyone. Pakistan is like the typical villain in Indian movies - having lost everthing and having been proved wrong, the villain's only wish is to somehow kill the hero. Pakistan's raison d' etre for existence as a separate state, a state for Muslims, has  been proved to be hollow. It is not the most populous Muslim nation.  It has not been able to accomodate all denominations of Muslims - Sunni Muslims are dominant and others are treated as second grade.
And India has more Muslims than Pakistan and they do not wish to align with Pakistan. This leads one to question the very basis for the creation of Pakistan. Perhaps the people of Pakistan would have been better off as Indian citizens. Perhaps the people of Pakistan might vote to rejoin India, if allowed.
Whatever the people's wish, Pakistan as a state continues with its practice  of deploying terrorism as a state policy. What can India do to effectively deal with the situation ? India can and must tackle Pakistan's terror tactics with a heavy hand.
Why does Pakistan use terror to combat India and why fight with India in the first place ? Terror is a cost-effective option. Fools who are ready to die for a never-seen heaven are available a dime a dozen. They only need to be recruited and trained. And Pakistan will not acknowledge their citizenship. So Pakistan can eternally live in denial for all the ghastly acts it commits.  Also the Pakistan army is too big for the  size of the country. It eats into a giant percentage of the GDP. A private company in this situation would be deemed sick and at least the sick portions would be divested to get it back to health. The Pakistan army needs to find a reason to justify its monstrous existence and needs to keep justifying year after year. After all politicians would only be too glad to clip its wings. So what better than to create and sustain terrorists and have them attack India. It is for the same reason that the army meddles in the internal affairs of Afghanistan and gives sanctuary to various militant groups inimical to its government. That Pakistan is fomenting trouble has been said by no less a person than the Afghan President and that too on many occasions. A restive Afghan border is a good way to ensure its daily bread. A troubled Balochistan is another godsend. This way the army can stay relevant and powerful. It can do anything in the name of security.  The internal machinations in Pakistan result in terror attacks on India. Azaadi is only a ruse, a cover that certain sections of the Kashmiri populace will buy.
So what should India do to protect itself ? Well, any action is justified.
First, we should deal ruthlessly with those who swear by violence. No mercy should be shown. It is pertinent to point out here that the late Shri KPS Gill, the former DGP of Punjab, who is largely credited with eliminating militancy in Punjab, was quite ruthless in his approach and phenomenally successful. We need a native Kashmiri in that mould. A man who can think like the terrorists and anticipate their every move. A man who knows what hurts the terrorists most and where. A man who cannot be accused of being an outsider. A man who will not pull punches.
Next we need to ensure development in Kashmir. Economic growth and jobs will be more attractive to the youth than guns. After all, if a young man does not have a job or a constructive way to spend his time, he becomes a prime target for recruitment by terrorists who are also willing to pay handsomely. It is worth noting that after demonitization, there was a lull in the militant activity as there was a squeeze on the supply of cash. No money , no stone throwing, no attacks, no unrest. It is all economics and money. Aazadi is only a slogan. So development is a must. As are schools and colleges which must function normally. Youth engaged usefully and gainfully are less likely to be attracted to militancy.
Then we must isolate Pakistan internationally and make sure the western aid keeps reducing. This will hurt them greatly as Pakistan has a big dependence on foreign aid as its owm economy is in shreds. We should also lobby for sanctions against them.
Every attempt made by terrorists should be dealt with a heavy hand. Take no prisoners. If the Pakistani army targets Indian villages and Indian posts, hit back hard with heavy weaponry. Destroy their posts. Resort to surgical strikes. And for every infiltration attempt by the Pakistani army, India should move in  few hundred metres from the LOC.
More proactively, we should engage in eliminating the terrorist leaders living in comfort in Pakistan. The US did that to Osama Bin Laden. Why should we not ?
All these will push up the cost of terrorism for Pakistan and it will cease to be a low cost option over a period of time. Makes economic and military sense, doesn't it ? There is a saying in Hindi - Laaton ke bhoot baaton se nahin mante. Transliterated  it means - Ghosts that obey only kicks do not listen to words. If the Pakistan army is asking for a kick in the butt, then why deny them the pleasure ?

Kashmiris - don't throw stones at your future

Dear Kashmiris,
Kashmir has been burning for many decades now. There has never been any sustained peace. Many generations have seen only violence and destruction. Schools and colleges have not functioned for full terms. All means of livelihood have been adversely affected and people have no steady income. Tourism, a major industry, is non-existant. People have been killed in terror attacks. Pundits have been driven out their state. There are demonstrations every so often. Young men and women indulge in stone throwing. In short, the paradise has turned into hell.
And all for azaadi. An azaadi, that you have been promised, is a heaven. As the ultimate goal of every Kashmiri. Something that is worth dying for. A release from India.
But pause for a moment to think what has been achieved so far. Normal life has been disrupted. There is mindless violence everywhere. There is nothing to feel satisfied about when you go to bed and nothing to look forward to when you get up in the morning. More than 47,000 people have lost their lives in the last two decades of conflict despite Kashmir having the highest life expectancy in India.
Think. The likes of Hafiz Saeed and Azar Masood, who are classified as terrorists, are the prime actors from across the border. They send in trained terrorists to kill Indians. But they are not even Kashmiris. They are just stoodges for Pakistan's ISI.
People in Iraq, Libya and Syria also wanted aazadi. They had compelling reasons. They were being persecuted by the regimes. Goaded by external influences, they rebelled against their authoritarian governments. But what did they achieve ? Only destruction of their homes and country, loss of lives and livelihood and only a bleak future to look forward to. Decades of conflict has played havoc with their lives. But what of the nations that encouraged them to overthrow their governments ? They just don't care.
Pakistan is becoming a joke day by day. With no worthwhile economy, it exists on the largesse of the US.  Its only profitable industry is terrorism. The army, which runs the government irrespective of who is in office, treats the country like its private fiefdom. A PIA pilot sleeps for two and a half hours on a flight unmindful of even his own safety ! In Pakistan, not everyone is equal. There are many minority communities that are persecuted. Shias are targeted by militants.  Anyone depending on Pakistan for support is really pushing his luck. It is highly probable that Pakistan will cease to exist as a nation in a few decades, destroyed by the terrorism it nurtures, consumed by the hatred for minorities and ethnic groups.

Kasmiris, just think. Don't you want to progress and prosper ? Don't you yearn for peace ? Do you not wish to see your children go to school ? Do you want to let a few misguided gun-totting youth hold you to ransom ? Can you imagine what life will be under the terror outfits ? Just read up on what the situation is in Libya or Iraq. Forget aazadi, you will only be a slave under the militant rulers.
Let not the militant propaganda sway you. Do not be brainwashed by the aazadi brigade. You need to chart your future, your destiny. And the only way is to kick out the aazadi mongers and work for your own progress.

Gar firdaus bar-rue zamin ast, hami asto, hamin asto, hamin ast. - If there is a heaven on earth, it is here, it is here. So said the emperor Jehangir about Kashmir.  It is entirely up to you Kashmiris to regain the paradise that was.

Tamil Brahmin Mamas

Recently I read  a Whatsapp message about TamBram Mamis. A beautifully witten piece it was. It set me thinking - why no such missives on the Mamas, the lesser haves ? Why deny them their share of fame ? So here goes - a write up on the Mamas.
Tamil Brahmin Mamas come in different flavours. The oldest variety is the Homebound Mama. This type wakes up early (4 AM), boils the milk and prepares the coffee decoction. The Mama then proceeds with his morning routine which may include cutting vegetables and washing. He is a perfectionist and won't tolerate shoddy work. He usually has no time for gossip and is immersed in his work. He is a handyman and does all odd jobs around the house. He firmly believes that if the earth goes round the sun, it is because of him. The Mami is very dependent on him and cannot do without him around even for a few hours. This type is on the decline though.

The Thinnai mama can be found in the smaller towns and villages where thinnais can be found. After his morning routine which may include coffee and ablutions, he parks himself comfortably on the vasal thinnai with his vethalai-paku dabba for company. Constantly chewing vethalai and sometimes using mookupodi also, he continuously interacts with every being that passes that way. "Vishu, on punnukku 4 masamamey." Loud enough for the entire street to hear. Or "Yen da Ranga, nethiki enna on pondati appadi kaththinal ?" All those who didn't know, come to know now, thanks to the Mama.
This type is not known to indulge in any productive activity and is usually written off by the Mami.

The Music Mama is very visible during the Marghazhi music season. He is the quinessential Carnatic music lover. He will not miss one concert, especially that of his favorite musician. "Andha paatai evalavu azhaga padinaan. Aha, enna aalapanai, enna sruthi. Ellam kadavul kodupanai." He hops from sabha to sabha, enjoying the sapadu as much as the music. Often his discussions  centre on the samayal and the samayalkarar and he is equally knowledgeable about both. If these Mamas are from a smaller town or village, one can often see a vaira thodu on their ears. Such Mamas are usually accompanied by their entire families for the full duration of the music season.

The Active Mama is the more socially useful variety. He is, as the name suggests, quite active both physically and otherwise. The neighbouring not-so-active mamas often have to listen to their mamis grumble "Avar intha vayasulayum evalavu activea irrukar. Neengalum irrukele. Enakkunu vanthu vaachurukele". The Active mama is a member of the local association and works for the welfare of the association. Be it a road to be repaired, a speed-breaker to be built or a water line to be repaired, he is the person to go to. He is well versed with goverment working and knows who to approach for each job. Not very religious, he still attends the temple pooja regularly and ensures all the arrangements are taken care of. He may be an avid walker and can be seen socialising while walking.

The Bhakthi Mama is drawn to puja and temples. He is religious and performs his daily routine of pujas. This may take a few hours everyday but he is a stickler for his routine. A sub-variety visits temples eveyday. They can be seen going towards the temple in groups of twos and threes though ones are not uncommon. They attend the various discourses and lectures, stay for the puja and return with the prasadam. The Mami's dinner menu is dependent on the prasadam - "Puliyodaraium Sakara Pongalum vangindu vanthutel. Aathula thayir sadam irruku". The more orthodox type can be seen in a panchagachcham.

The Foreign Son/Daughter Mama is a more prevalent type. He has a son(s) and/or daughter(s) living abroad. He has made many trips to foreign lands (read his son or daughter's place) and is well versed with foreign travel. Should you get caught by him, there is no escape from the photographs of his grandchildren. He will explain in detail when each snap was taken, by whom and why. If he is a good photographer, you get the technical details also - like what effect the shutter speed has on the sharpness, how the flash can simulate a bald spot. He can usually be spotted proudly wearing a Tee-shirt that says "I love Las Vegas" or "Stanford University".

The Foreign Returned Mama has returned to India after spending 2-3 decades in foreign countries. Some return to be in the country of origin in the later years, others because of personal reasons like old parents. This Mama is very business-like and not given to unnecessary talk. He wants to replicate his earlier lifestyle and so goes about in earnest purchasing all things deemed necessary. The Mami misses her foreign days and longs to go back - "Yaen vandomnnu irrukku. Thirumbi poyidalaamna mamaku velai kidaikadhu". All said, this type keeps to itself and does not mix much.

The Modern Mama is the more ubiquitous type. Despite  his nomenclature, he is quite young. He is attired in shorts when not in the office. He feels like fish out of water when not in the office. Not known to have any domestic skillsets, he does not know which end of the feeding bottle goes into the baby's mouth nor how to change a nappy. He passively holds the bottle while his wife freshens up the baby. He is most comfortable fiddling with his smartphone. His glaring lack of domestic skills is the product of his (Homebound Mama) father and doting mother doing eveything for him during his youth.

There are many other genres but small in number. In general, the Mamas are law abiding citizens and peace loving. They will not get into unnecessary arguments or fights. They are most comfortable when left to themselves. May their tribe increase.

The brave martyrs of Uri

Eighteen brave men they were,
Young and younger in age,
Cut down by bullets and fire,
Felled by terrorists in a rage,
May their souls rest in peace,
May their sacrifice not be in vain,
The country shall not cease,
To remember their bravery and pain.

Human interaction by models - a theory

Let us start with a simple exercise. Let me name a person and you tell me what you associate that person with.

Albert Einstein, Don Bradman, Mozart, Mahatma Gandhi, Neil Armstrong and Arnold Swarzenegger. The names given here are only for illustration. We can think of any name.

Now let us see what we associated each person with.

• Albert Einstein - great scientist, greatest theoretical physicist, Theory of Relativity, Bose-Einstein condensate, photo-electric effect.
• Don Bradman - greatest batsman ever, greatest Australian cricketer, explosive batsman.
• Mozart - Great composer
• Mahatma Gandhi - Ahimsa or non-violence, Father of the nation (India), freedom fighter, great leader.
• Neil Armstrong - first man on the moon, astronaut
• Arnold Swarzenegger - Terminator, body builder, actor, governor.

Your associations probably match mine. There will, of course, be some differences based on our individual knowledge and understanding. The general idea is that we associate some principal characteristics or properties with a person. Note that all these personalities had many other facets not listed here. They were householders, fathers, brothers etc. Einstein was an accomplished violin player. Swarzenegger is a politician. But only a few characteristics dominate.

Let us study a different example - a resistor.

A resistor is characterised by a V-I (Voltage-Current) relationship. For a resistor this is written as  V = I × R. This means for an applied voltage V, the current I is such that V = I × R, where R is the value of the resistor and is a constant. Conversely, if a current I flows through a resistor of value R, the voltage developed across it would be V. This is the model of the resistor and is used extensively. This simple  model, however, does not take into account the effect of temperature. It assumes the temperature is constant. To factor in temperature effects, R = Ro[1 + £(T-To)], where Ro is the resistance at a given temperature To, say 20°C,  £ is the coefficient of temperature and T is the temperature. Therefore, V = I × Ro[1 + £(T - To)] is a more accurate model of the resistor which factors in the variation in resistance due to variations in temperature. If we require a model accurate to the second degree of the temperature, then V = I × Ro[1 + £1(T -To)+ £2 (T - To)^2)] is the desired equation, where £1 is the coefficient of the first order variation and £2 is the coefficient for the second order. Even this equation would not work for all values of voltages and frequencies. We would have to add terms to account for variation due to these variables.

Thus we see that an equation (model) becomes more and more accurate (and complex !) as terms are added.

Refer to the following links for an educative write-up on resistors.

    http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/hbase/electric/restmp.html

http://www.edn.com/design/components-and-packaging/4423492/Resistors-aren-t-resistors

We note that:

1. There exists a model for everything - person, thing or situation.
2. A model is a simplified version of the real person, situation or thing (which may be quite complicated).
3. A model describes an input-output relationship.
4. Using a model we can predict the output for a given input.
5. For a given input, the output is only as accurate as the model itself.
6. While we use a real resistor in circuit, all calculations are made based on the model.

The same principle applies to people and situations.

We unconsciously define models for situations and persons in our mind. It is these models that define our interactions with the person or situation and determine our actions and reactions





Fig. 1: Pictorial representation of interaction by models



 

Fig.1 depicts how an interaction between two people, A and B, takes place. A has a model of B in his mind and B has a model of A in his mind. Each also has a model of the situation in his mind. A’s actions and reactions are conditioned essentially by three factors – his own innate nature, his model of the situation and his model of B. Let us see each in more detail.

• A’s innate nature or characteristics: This determines A’s responses based on his self. A’s likes and dislikes, comfort level, preferences, sense of duty etc. form a part of this. This determines his innate response. For example, a person who is methodical will tend to be so in most, if not all, situations.  A person who is a go-getter will prefer action.
• Model of the situation: A situation can be defined as a collective of a number of people and events. This model comprises A’s understanding of the situation. This sets the context. Every interaction between two persons takes place in a specific situation and this situation influences the interaction. The model of this situation is, therefore, important and its accuracy has a bearing on the interaction. This model influences every interaction A has with anyone in that context. For example, if a person is in financial difficulty, all his interactions will be influenced by his difficulties. He may look for opportunities to overcome his difficulties in all his interactions. In the least, his situation would weigh on his mind all the time.
• Model of B: This has a direct and immediate  bearing on the interaction. This is A’s understanding of B. Every interaction with B, in every situation, is influenced by this model. This determines A’s personalised approach towards B. For any given situation, A’s responses would be different for different persons.

A’s actions and reactions are unconsciously modified by these three factors. The same is true for B. Note that while A’s responses are conditioned by the models of B and the situation, it is the real B who will respond to A and vice versa. The more accurate the models, the more accurate the responses. RA is A’s response as conditioned by these three  factors. It is only as accurate as the models. Similar is the argument for RB.

Note that the box showing A’s or B’s nature is not a model. It is the real person. It becomes a model for the other person as shown by the box “Model of A” or “Model of B”. The more accurately the Model of A matches the real A, the more accurate the responses.

This model of interaction evolves continuously as we interact more and more with that person, get a better understanding of the situation  and we ourselves evolve. Let us consider each factor in more detail.

• The more we interact with a person, the more information we gather about him. This gives us a more accurate model.
• The more observant we are of the situation, the more details we gather and the more accurate a model we can form.
• When our model is not accurate, our understanding of the person or situation is not very good and the interaction may not be very fruitful. It may also lead to misunderstandings. If the other person has a very accurate models of us and the situation, the interactions may still be fruitful as he may be able to compensate, to some extent, for our poor model.

The three factors have different weightages. The weightages vary from situation to situation and from person to person. Which factor influences more depends on the situation and the two persons A and B. These three factors are not compartmentalised as distinctly as shown in Fig. 1. They are more overlapped and integrated. Fig.1 is only for a better understanding of the factors.

Let us see some examples of models.

• For example, we would be wary of a short-tempered person and try to avoid him. He may not react the same way every time, but we would be cautious. This is because our model tells us to act like that.
• Let us see another example. Suppose a person is very careless by nature and tends to make mistakes. If we were to give him any work, we would give multiple instructions and would also check his work. It is not necessary that he should make a mistake every time he does something but our action and reaction would be conditioned by the model we have in our mind.
• Stereotyping is another example of a model. Here the model is a commonly accepted one.
• The principle can also be seen in operation when wild life experts get close to wild animals. They seem to get dangerously close to animals like lions without any protection. But the amazing fact is that the animals also do not feel threatened and ignore them. They understand the behaviour of the animals very well and know exactly what they should and should not do. They know the distance of closest approach beyond which the animal would react. They also understand the surroundings very well. Their model is very accurate.
• Let us consider a mobile phone. It has many features. Our model of the mobile phone consists of the features we know. We may not know of all the features. These would be listed and described in the manual. If we were asked to describe  all the features (our model of the mobile phone), our description would be incomplete. This is a simple example as the feature set of a mobile phone would be limited unlike that of a person which would be very vast.

When our model of the situation and person is accurate, our predictions and responses are accurate. When either of the two models is poor, our actions and responses may be incorrect and even prove counter-productive.

A model is dynamic in nature. It changes with time. Generally, we start with a low accuracy model. This becomes more accurate over time. This is maintained for a period of time. Then it loses accuracy over time. This happens because we may have reduced interactions with the person or situation. We may also have impaired faculties as we age.  Fig. 2 illustrates the change in accuracy of the model over time. This is only an example. The actual variation could be more complex.



 Fig. 2: Variation in model accuracy over time

Why do we need a model ? A real person or situation is very complex. We would find it very difficult to factor in all the parameters when dealing with him/it. So we unconsciously form models, which are simpler versions of the real person or situation, to deal with them. The accuracy, and consequently the complexity, of the model depends on various factors.

Disclaimer: This theory is purely a rabbit out of my hat and is based on my personal understanding only. I do not have any data or study to back it up.

College days

Those  are the days, I see through the haze,
Of the time gone by, With my vintage eye,
Lovely friends and friendship too,
Feelings of a myriad hue,
Days of arguments and fights,
Of all the tiny wrongs and rights,
Days of vast leisure and play,
Feeling full of hapiness and gay,
Of time spent in wonderous talk,
Around the campus on a serene walk,
Of the many tests and night-outs,
Followed by disappointed shouts,
The scratchy movies in the auditorium,
The audio punishing the ear drum,
Waiting for the posty to come,
What tidings does he brings from home ?
Of sickness and home-sickness too,
Only friends to take care of you,
The warden in his haughty march,
Causing a naughty throat to parch,
The cold winter and the hot days,
Withering dryness of desert ways,
Does you eye fill up with tears,
Longing for those wonderful years ?

The obnoxious practice of bell-curve fitting

Come appraisal time, there is one term that is on everyone's lips. A hated term that raises hackles. A term that conjures up the worst nightmares. It is the "bell-curve fitting". For no fault of its, the bell curve has come to be associated with a practice that employees of most corporates have come to despise.

From a statistical perspective, the bell curve is a frequency distribution curve. It shows the frequency of the measured variable for different values of the variable. It also known as the Gaussian or Normal distribution, the latter nomenclature being used in Statistics more frequently. The distribution is shaped like a bell and hence the name. A bell curve is fully defined by two parameters - the mean and standard deviation (SD). It is used widely in quality control. For any set of data, it is always possible to calculate the mean and SD. But that does not necessarily mean the data itself is normally distributed. The data must be tested for normality. There are various tests that can be used. The variable must be a continuous variable i.e., it must be able to take any value in a given interval. Typical variables are height, weight, age etc. This is about the bell curve.

Where would the bell curve apply ? If in a company there are 1000 Sales representatives and each representative has a sales target of Rs. 100,000, then the actual sales figures could reasonably be expected to lie in a bell curve. However, this needs to be confirmed with a test for normality. If confirmed, the data could be plotted as a bell curve. The performance of the Sales Reps could be gauged from the plot. The Average performers would be bunched around the mean. To the right would lie the Stars and to the left, the Laggards. The Average performers would be the largest in number. The other two categories would be less and, ideally, equal. One could have 5 categories instead of 3. The company could decide how to split the categories and the percentage of people that should be in each category could be arrived at from the graph.

The trouble starts when this innocuous curve is applied to the performance of employees. An employee typically has a number of key performance parameters or KPP. These could be revenue, profit/project margin, attrition, value addition etc. Each has its own unit of measurement. Revenue and value addition are measured in currency - Rupees, Dollars, Euro etc. Margin and attrition are measured in percentage. Each KPP target is given a weightage in percentage such that the sum of all weightages is 100%. An employee's performance is measured by scoring the employee for each KPP target on a scale of, say, 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest and 10 the highest. A weighted average is determined and this is the overall score of the employee. The scores for all employees are similarly calculated and plotted. A bell curve is applied or rather, forced on the data. Stars, Average performers and Laggards are determined. All this seems very logical.

But let us look at the hidden facts.

1. What is plotted is the score of the employee. This is just a number and there is nothing normal about it.
2. The score is calculated from a number of numbers and their weightages. Nothing normal here.
3. No test is carried out to check for normality.
4. The score includes the bias of the appraiser. One appraiser may score an average of 9 for a group and another may score 7 for the same group. One is lenient and the other is more stringent.
5. The bands are split arbitrarily. There is no logic in saying a team of 100 has 20 Laggards. How is this determined ? This  percentage is applied across the company with no rhyme or reason.
6. There is a vague and opaque process called normalisation that is supposed to take care of the appraiser bias. How this works is a mystery.
7. Corporates have a delightful way of selling this and other such practices to employees. They employ a consulting firm that comes up with such wonderful ideas. These are "best practices across the industry","industry standard practices", "modern methods of evaluation" etc. If it does not work, they quietly dump it for another system. No apologies, no regrets. And if at all anyone is to be blamed, it is the consulting firm. Sweet, isn't it ? And don't be shocked if the company goes back to the same consulting firm for the next set of "industry bench-marked practices". 😠
8. And the best piece of cake ? Ask the HR what the bell curve is and chances are they will not know !😁😁😁

So what is done, in effect, is that the bell curve is forced on data that does not fit the bell curve. Its like wearing a shoe on the head - incongruous and painful. But there is something to cover the head, so why bother if it doesn't fit !👻👻👻
But the consequences could be bad for employees. Laggards would get less or no bonus payout. Average people would get paid but less than the Stars. Career growth would also be adversely affected.
But then who cares ?

Note :

1. The term Laggard is used only for purposes of illustration and nothing derogatory is implied.
2. The word "normal" used here is in the context of the Normal distribution.
3. The terms used could vary from company to company.
4. The method of bell curve fitting and scoring could also vary but the practice would be similar.

The corporate tree

A company is like a tree and employees are like monkeys. A few monkeys get together and plant a seed. A small plant comes to life. Then it grows into a tree. Soon monkeys from far and near get on to the tree and find a comfortable perch for themselves. The monkeys also try to climb up higher. As the tree grows bigger and taller, the monkeys also go higher just by virtue of being there. A few monkeys jump off and climb other trees. Over a period of time thue rate of growth of the tree slows down. The growth of the monkeys also tapers off. Now the monkeys have to look for places in higher branches. But by now the branches are crowded. The monkeys stagnate. Occassionally a monkey happens to jump off and this provides an opportunity for another to rise up but sometimes the remaining monkeys adjust themselves in such a way that they occupy all the space on the branch and no other monkey can move there.
The monkeys are only place-holders. You may replace them with donkeys, buffaloes, lions, foxes etc. Your imagination is the limit.
Now sit back, close your eyes, relax and think of the variety of wildlife in your organisation. It is a great stress reliever !
😃😃😃 

A mosquito in your bonnet

It is a lost war. Driving away a mosquito. Just one can drive you crazy
Many are a menace. Even when a mosquito is not infecting you, it is working hard to annoy you.
I have had my share of run-ins with them. As I sit back in my chair on a lazy Sunday evening to message my friends, the mosquito sets her sights on me. I suppose I am a big juicy target. Five minutes is all I get before the attack begins. A bite on the legs. I move them. One on the elbow. I shake my arm. A bite on my neck. I drive it away with my hand. Soon I am shaking different parts of my body to her biting rythm. It is a dance, no less. This happens semi-consciously if you are a veteran. Suddenly my hand slaps my neck. One is dead. She had inserted her prombosis too far into me and was unable to escape. I wipe my hand in satisfaction. But the victory is shortlived. Another one takes her place. The whole exercise repeats. Sometimes she will buzz near my ears, driving me crazy.  So I am doing two jobs at one time. One is whatever I am doing. The other is keeping the bites to the minimum. I have found that mosquito repellent creams, mats etc. are no good, notwithstanding all the wonderful advertisements. But other people tell me they are quite effective. Perhaps the mosquitoes in my area are a toughened variety. The only effective defence, I have found, is the electric bat. This bat, a cross between a tennis and a badminton racquet, literally shocks the mosquito to death. The light and sound are a bonus, perhaps even satisfying.

Often I have taken a mosquito as a passenger in my car. It gets in uninvited when I open the door to get in. The number depends on how long the door was open. If I happen to leave a window open overnight, the entire colony would be inside the next morning. Driving under these conditions can be challenging. I get bitten all over. I can use only one hand in defence. The legs cannot be shaken, much less moved. Of course I have to concentrate on the road. Opening all the windows drives out all the mosquitoes but a few. Now the fun starts. The mosquito goes around buzzing. It reaches the open window and changes direction. Back it comes inside. How it senses the boundary between the car and the outside amazes me. But everytime it unerringly turns back. I am sure border issues would be resolved if  mosquitoes were to police the borders. I decide the mosquito needs some help. So I try and push it out with my hand or try to blow it out. I try this when I am waiting at a signal. Other drivers give me a strange look. I guess they think I am crazy to be waving my hands and blowing at nothing. I also run the risk of women taking umbrage at my actions. Victory at last. The mosquito flies away. I immediately raise my windows. But before the glass is fully raised, the chap comes in again. He has no intention of leaving my car. After many more tries (at signals only as it would be dangerous to do all this while driving), I finally manage to drive him out.
Then I reflect. I had picked him up at home and dropped him off a few kilometres away. Will he find his way back ? Will he find new friends or a new family ? Will he remain alone for the rest of his life ? Will he survive ? My concern for him grows as the distance from him increases. If only there were some means of communicating with the mosquito, I would learn so much from him.