A sense of time

Time and tide wait for no man. So goes the ancient saying. Our forefathers realised long, long ago that the flow of time could not be stopped and that time would flow at its own rate. Man has had an understanding of time from the beginning of civilisation. It is well accepted that time flows in one direction only.
Albert Einstein enhanced our understanding of the nature of time by his theory of relativity. He showed us that time was relative. Two events that occur simultaneously for one observer need not be simultaneous for another. Time can dilate depending on the relative velocity. So, an event that occurs over one second for one observer may occur over 10 seconds for another. All this is well understood by at least a few!
Let us now come to a more mundane issue : how the awareness of time impacts our life and who all have this awareness.
Man, we know, understands time. A few, like Einstein, have a very deep understanding indeed. While we wear fancy watches and look at the clock every now and then, time has a more fundamental influence on us than we care to realise. Our very existence is based on time.
Let me explain.
It is generally accepted that a living creature procreates to perpetuate itself. That is, since any living creature will die after a finite period of time, it gives birth to young ones to ensure its survival as a species. So, the species survives, in generation after succeeding generation. This means that there is an understanding of time, an understanding that one will not live forever. Now this might be controversial. While all, or most people, would probably agree that man has a good understanding of time and the fact that he will not live forever, the same may not be the case with lower creatures. What understanding does a buffalo have? What about a cat, a mouse, a bird or even a mosquito? Is it conceivable that these "lowly" creatures understand the nature of time? It is probably safe to assume that these creatures do not have an understanding of time in the same manner that we do: that is to say that while we are conscious about our knowledge of time, these creatures are not.
But birds and animals are bound by time. They wake up a specific times, go looking for food, rest, sleep and even hibernate in  a time-bound manner. But these are based on various cues like the sun's position over the day, seasonal changes etc. Not on an explicit understanding of time. But the fact that they produce young ones means they have an innate understanding of time. The very need to multiply stems from an in-born and instinctive drive to prevent extinction of their species.
Single-celled organisms like bacteria also display similar perpetuation. They multiply when the conditions are right. When the conditions are hostile or not conducive, they just wait in a more inactive state. Since bacteria have a finite lifetime, it is logical to assume that they multiply to stay alive as a species.
This is true for plants as well. They have various mechanisms for ensuring the continuity of their species. Plants vary in size from huge, towering trees to tiny miniscule entities. But they all have one common trait - reproduction.
The same goes for viruses. Viruses are regarded as non living. They cannot multiply on their own but need a host cell to do so. They multiply under the right conditions. They "die" when the conditions are not right. So what is the need for a "non living" virus to multiply? If it is for perpetuating its existence, if it is programmed to continue its line, then is it truly non living? Perhaps the classification needs a second or third or n th look.
Contrast this with a lifeless object like a stone. It has no sense of time. It does not multiply. It does nothing to create replicas of itself. The same goes for any non living thing like a table, a ring, a shoe, a pen etc. They have just no "understanding" of time.
So what does all this tell us? That the comprehension of time is very ancient. It is as old as life itself and all living things have an innate awareness of the flow of time, an awareness that propels them to multiply, a sense that drives them to overcome their mortality by producing the next generation. Perhaps life itself evolved only after this understanding was achieved. Perhaps. 

Prof. TSKV Iyer - a tribute

Prof. TSKV Iyer, former Deputy Director of BITS, Pilani, passed away in Pune on 18th evening at the age of 96.

Prof. Iyer was a very respected man. He was the last word in Circuit Theory and his book was considered the Bible. (I recently referred to the online version of his book to help my daughter!) Senior students would advise, "Attend Iyer if you want to make an A grade". He would take his classes in one of those big classrooms which would be overflowing. Almost all the students in the batch would be crammed in! He would go about his job unconcerned. The flow was admirable, as was his grasp over the subject. One felt he could actually "look" into those circuits he drew. And he would take his students for a walk into those lanes and bylanes of resistors, capacitors and inductors and explain every detail as a tour guide does. His class was a different experience. Important points were emphasised time and again in short sentences. "A capacitor is an open circuit for DC and a short circuit for AC in the steady state", still rings in my mind. KCL and KVL are two other terms one cannot forget. He repeated them so often that I remember them to this day, without ever having used them in the last 30 years or so ! Nor his, "Current cannot accumulate at a node". Not once would he lose his temper or take a student to task for asking a silly question.
He was affectionately referred to by the students as TSKVSK Iyer after his long initials. Almost all instructors in BITS were given a nickname. He was not exempted. But he was revered for his knowledge, expertise  and very down to earth attitude. There were lesser men who put on airs and threw tantrums in class. But not TSKV Iyer. He was serenity and dignity personified.
He would address the freshers and their parents during the orientation. The year I joined, a parent queried if birdwatching was allowed on the campus (there were many birds on the campus, including peacocks which would approach very close). "Birdwatching is allowed", Iyer said, then paused, looked at the audience and continued, "as long as you don't watch the wrong kind of birds!" The auditorium burst into laughter. He had his humorous side too.

I remember only a fraction of what happened in that one semester; time takes its toll on the memory.
May his soul rest in peace.

Celebrities - a news factory

It is the silly season. And it has been triggered by the novel corona virus. How is it that a virus is responsible for it?
The lockdown announced by the government has forced us all indoors and made us stay indoors, with external movement limited to essentials only. Working from home is not any less stressful or easier than going to the office. And one has to manage all the the "homely" interruptions from time to time. I do not find any free time. I was working harder than ever I thought, what with the maid absent and my having to back up for her! Everyone would have lots of work at home. Or so I thought.

How wrong I was! Celebrities seem to be very unemployed. I guess it might be true as most of their work is done outdoors. All the indoor work is managed by their staff. So, with all the time on their hands, our celebraties have taken it upon themselves to educate us. On everything under the sun. There is no aspect of life that is left out. They are the new Vedas.
One actress showed us how to wash vessels. My wife and my maid wash vessels everyday. I do it quite often now that the maid does not come. I never thought much about it. But watching the actress' video I realised how a mundane task becomes glorified in the hands of a celebrity. And there is so much science behind the act ! I would not learn so much if my science teacher taught me. The visual is accompanied by a commentary lest one does not understand. The actress will ensure the online training is successful!
Another tried baking. Yet another demonstrated sweeping with a broom. I was impressed. How often does one get to learn to sweep from a star? And then there are the workouts. India is dying to know how our stars are keeping fit when gyms are locked. So we have the full benefit of a workout regime on the roof. Ya, Indians can have their breakfast now; the stars are maintaining their washboard abs.
Then one must not forget the "goals" the celebrities set for us Indians. These are goals we Indians are expected to aim for. One gets to see photos of well known faces enjoying the sun, the beach, the pool, you name it. So you get various goals - vacation goals, beachwear goals, pool goals, PDA goals. The list is endless. There is no time or space left for your own goals! Just follow the celebrities.
And one must not forget those "throwback pics". These are old photos of our stars with someone or all by themselves. These throwback pics can be decades old or less. They are supposed to make us nostalgic. And long for more. After all, how can India live without the news of its stars? Whether we have our dinner or not, we must feast on what is happening to the stars.
Add to this the sun-kissed photos, photos without makeup, bonding photos.... The list is endless.
So what does one make of all this? My take is that these celebs need to be in the news. Perhaps their market value depends on how popular they are, how many followers they have on Twitter, Facebook etc. So they have this compulsion to  keep their visibility high, at all costs. So what do you do when you have nothing to do? Well, anything that you can take a photo or video of and post for the world to see. And make news.
As Nirupa Roy would so often say in her movies, "Paapi pet ka sawaal hai". Translated literally it means, "It is a question of the sinful stomach". Or in other words, "I have to do all this to fill my stomach!"

Book of poems published on Amazon

https://www.amazon.in/Verses-India-Jaikumar-S-ebook/dp/B0841B3N2M/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=verses+from+india&qid=1586046733&sprefix=verses&sr=8-1

I have published a collection of my poems in English on Amazon. Please visit the site mentioned above for details. 

Corona ki kasam

The corona pandemic and the resultant crisis play out, many a Bollywood director will be seeing a great opportunity for a Bollywood  blockbuster. So why should I miss the chance to become famous, a la Chetan Bhagat (remember 3 Idiots) ?
Here is  sure-shot chartbuster story and screenplay.

The movie opens with the main villain (v1) in hospital with tubes running from all parts of his body, an ECG monitor going kuk kuk kuk, the graph just about showing signs of life and all kinds of fluids being injected into him. Even the most naive will know he is close to death. A doctor with a mask, gloves and a coat is intently watching the monitor. Just then the nurse brings in the blood report. The doctor reads the report and shakes his head. " Doctor saab, kya likha hai?", asks the villain's brother. "Inhe corona ho gaya hai! ", says the doctor gravely with fear in his eyes. He explains that v1 has a peculiar form of corona. It will kill him in 4 hours. So, to stay alive, he must keep taking glucose intravenously. "Corona ko har 4 ghante glucose khilana hoga, varna yeh tumhare bhai ko kha jayega". There is only one cure available. That is an aam papad (mango jelly) prepared by a Chinese physician of which only one piece remains. This piece lies in a vault in villain2's house which is guarded by 20 big dumb chaps with sticks and guns. v1 must eat this jelly to get cured.

The next scene opens with our hero. He is a poor chap, with only a mother and a sister. He sells aam papad for a living. "Lele..., aam papad lele.. ", he sings as he pushes his cart through the streets. The heroine works in a  hosiery shop and buys aam papad from him every day. Note: What she does with aam papad every day is none of your business. But now we have common thread between the hero, heroine and the villain - aam papad.

Scene 3 is v1's lair. He has recovered now but still needs the glucose shots every 4 hours. "Maut mere sir par har 4 ghante mandarati hai. Yeh glucose ki botal meri zindagi hai", says v1 flashing the glucose bottle. " Mujhe woh aam papad chahiye jo v2 ne apne bolt me rakha hai", he continues. Note: He pronounces vault as bolt but that is his uniqueness. Now we have introduced the villain's motive and desperation.

Why is v1 a villain? Because he passes on the corona virus to his victims by spitting on his hands and shaking hands with them. His victims die in 4 hours. "4 ghante, sirf 4 ghante mein tum upar chale jaoge", he tells them. Of course, they don't know of the glucose treatment.

Scene 4 is a flashback going back 25 years. v1 and v2 are friends aged about 10. v1's father has the aam papad and shows it to v2's father. He tells him that a Chinese doctor gave it to him with the prophesy that it would save the world one day. v2's father kills him and runs off with the aam papad. As v1 tries to stop him, v2 punches him in the face and escapes with his father. Now you know why v1 hates v2. "Usne mere muh pe mukka mara aur aam papad chura liya."

Now a twist in the plot. The heroine is v2's daughter who has left home as she does not like his bad ways.

One more twist. Our hero is actually a police officer in disguise. He is on a mission to get the aam papad as the government wants it to save the nation from the impending crisis. The Health Minister has told him, "Sirf woh aam papad hi ab desh ko bacha sakta hai." Now you may be wondering why the government cannot just send the police to get the aam papad from v2. Well, they cannot because he lives in Malaysia. Our hero must send him a message through one of his local goons that he has one more such aam papad. Then v2 will come down to India with his aam papad for verification. The police can then catch him. Get the logic now?

Of course, there are many songs with stupid lyrics and even more stupid music. The hero runs around trees and the heroine, aam papad in hand.

One more twist. v1 kidnaps the hero's mother and sister and asks him to steal the aam papad from v2.

And if you are wondering what relation the title has to the plot, our hero takes a vow, "Corona ki kasam, mai us v1 ko maarkar apni maa aur behan ko bacha lunga."

In the climax, the hero steals the aam papad from v2 and hides it in his aam papad cart. v1 is there to receive it. Our hero gives v1 an aam papad from his cart. v1  thinks it is the real aam papad and stops taking glucose. He dies. But not before killing v2.

Ending 1:

As the clock ticks away, our hero runs with the aam papad to the health ministry where he dissolves it in the water supply and saves the nation. The health minister claps.

Ending 2:

Ending 1 seems a bit tame for a Bollywood movie. So I thought of this new climax.

After getting the aam papad (in Hyderabad) our hero needs to travel to Cochin. Why Cochin? Because the whole country is in danger of being affected by the corona virus and the only way to save the WHOLE country is to get to Cochin. How Cochin holds the key is part of the suspense!
Our hero's immediate task is to get to Delhi from Hyderabad. So he drives a car at breakneck speed. V1's henchmen chase him and throw bombs at his car. He catches a couple of the bombs and throws them back. Most of the bad guys are killed (in slow motion, as the bombs explode and their cars are hurled 50 feet into the air and slowly rotate as they fall down). But one of the bombs thrown by one of v1's henchmen explodes near our hero's car (in Nagpur - as one can make out from the "Nagpur Railway Station" board). The car is badly damaged and our hero is thrown out, injured but safe. He limps, to show he is injured. Now how does he get to Delhi? Read on...
A motorcyclist is conveniently urinating by the roadside, his bike parked nearby with the key. Our hero takes the bike. (This is how every hero in a Bollywood movie gets a bike. If it is the villain, he will knock down the rider and take the bike. There is no other method allowed.) Now our hero speeds towards Delhi on the bike, followed by two of v1's closest associates. Cross country, over the hills, across lakes and through towns and villages. The audience gets a Bharat darshan. Of course, there are many people who rush to safety every now and then, carts get overturned and a child stands helplessly in the way. Always one child only, crying. Our hero scoops up the child with one hand, carries him away to safety, slows down and hands him over to his distraught mother who blesses him. Armed with the mother's blessing, he continues.
One of the chasers shoots the tyre of the bike and our hero falls and rolls. This happens near Agra. The camera shows a glimpse of the Taj and a "Agra Nagarpalika aapka swagat karti hai" board. A horse cart, loaded with vegetables, is waiting for him, the farmer owner turned the other way and calling someone. Our hero takes off. He throws the vegetables one by one at the two villains. One falls down. The last fellow continues to give chase. The hero's cart hits a stone on the road and breaks. He jumps onto the horse. Now he makes full use of the 1HP vehicle. The harder he pulls on the stirrups, the faster the horse goes. As he reaches the Delhi airforce base, the poor horse collapses with a loud neigh. His feet are worn down to his knees. Our hero gets off the horse, caresses it, closes its eyes (yes, this is a must) and gives it a kiss. All this while the last villain is waiting patiently. He can attack only when the hero is ready and has his attention turned to him. But the death of the horse, enrages our hero. With a loud roar, he runs towards the villain and kicks him. The villain goes flying back to Hyderabad and his body lands next to v1's.
Now we reveal why the hero had to reach Delhi from Hyderabad to get to Cochin. Because the Prime minister and the Home minister are waiting for him there. He needs their blessings. The Air Force chief hands him a Rafale (yes, we have it by then and even if we do not have it, it doesn't matter. It is the hero's privilege).
Our hero now flies the Rafale jet to Cochin. He is chased by v2's brother in a helicopter who shoots at him with a pistol. After dodging the bullets all the way to Cochin, our hero fires a missile at the helicopter, thus finishing off all the villains. By now you must be dying to know why Cochin? Because the aam papad grains must be distributed all over India. The only way to do this is by mixing them with the clouds over Cochin and the south-west monsoon will carry them to all parts of the country (remember your school science?) But how does one convert an aam papad into grains? Simple. Our hero opens the cockpit and throws the aam papad up in the air. The he dives, does a loop-the-loop and fires a missile at the teeny-weeny bit of aam papad from a distance of 2 km. The explosion shatters the aam papad into micro bits and the clouds carry them away.

The next scene shows heavy rains in different parts of the country and the grateful citizens standing in the rain, wet and thanking the hero.

The last and closing scene shows our hero landing in Cochin and the heroine running into his arms. How she came to be in Cochin is none of your business and is worth another 3-hour movie.

Note: The hero can be named Raju, Vijay or Rahul. It should be a short name. Short enough for the villain to call out before dying - "Vijay... ". Can you imagine him saying "Krishna Prasada   Venkatesa Gowriputra Ramachandra Chella Gowda?"

Do you think all this is bull....? Well, just click the links given below and read the news items.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.theweek.in/news/entertainment/2020/03/17/corona-pyaar-hai-bollywood-producers-rush-to-register-coronavirus-titles.amp.html

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.indiatvnews.com/amp/entertainment/news/corona-pyaar-hai-to-deadly-corona-filmmakers-rush-to-register-corona-in-their-movie-titles-598577


Note: I own the full rights to this story and screenplay.